Still guilty...

Why still I feel the guilty... :(
The more fun I have in life,
and more guilty comes along...
turns out,I'm kinda still into you,Tobi...

First love is such sweet despair.

When I realized,
I would never have the chance to get you back,
I was devastated...

People always regrets until losing it... the true love...

Ex... Still love

After years goes by,
Still couldn't let go...
I know I'm not supposed to say thing like this...
But,couldn't help myself to...
I still like you so much,Tobias...
After so much I've done to you... :(

You'll always be the one...
Wish I could get you back,
But I know it's all too late to fix it up...

You were my real love,I never knew love...

Hope you are good.
And all the things I can do is being happy for you and kinda still waiting for something somehow one day,
I could step in your life again...

Forever love,forever care,Tobias...

Speaking chinese

It always cheers me up somehow
when every time after chatting with you
regardless I was down or low then.

And now even starting speak chinese :)

don't know if I got the right to say this,
but you always own a place somewhere truly important in the depth of my heart.

Love you always. 

Languishing...

Feel like drowning, suffocating, languishing...

God damn... Why ppl are so judgemental...

Sick of it.

Luck

Hope everything's fine in Berlin.
Wish there's something I could do for you.
You can turn to me always if you want to.

Admit it...

Why am I crying for?
Why my eyes still watery?
Why the tears Rolled down my eyes?

When every time I see ur activities on Facebook,

It hurts me.
Like I ever hurt u before...

I want u to be happy,and u r in such happiness right now.
Sweet lovely newly couple.
Really happy for u.

Just don't know why,
Feel so guilty,

Feel so bad...

Yes I deserved it I know that.
It's like karma...
Suffering me...
Just don't know how long it would take...

And yes I still do care about u more than u can imagine...
Just can't let u know...

Wish I could fly to Berlin & telling u that I AM SORRY in person face to face...
Perhaps it would make me feel a little bit better...

3 years later,In the end,I'm the one who couldn't get u out of my head...

;-(

Remind

couple days ago,
I heard it while I was having dinner at the restaurant alone.
the song.

which can always remind me of thinking,
those days we went through together...
and how bad & silly I was,
that just let u walk away & break ur heart.
makes me sad,depresses me.

trying to keep the tears not rolling down my eyes,
Kinda too embarrassed & so humiliated...
cuz inside I know,
I wasn't the one who had the right to cry,
I should be the one to blame.
I didn't expect the song would just play & the whole situation would just happen to me.


though I didn't mean to & didn't want it to be like this,
kinda dramatic or something...
but it did...
which I couldn't help myself to...
trying to regain my composure so I could finish my meal.

I always take the song as my so- called private theme song,
never thought it would be played in public.
it makes me think of u at the moment as the track plays...
the one I love the most,perhaps also the one I hurt the most...

I think I should get used to it,cuz it might happen again in future days.
and take this as a punishment,to wait for the forgiveness...
hoping my reaction will not go too far like this time...

a song u & I ever talked about as the iPod played,
at the very first day we met in the hotel.

Cat Power - The Greatest